by Sam Ray

I’m not fat
But I’m thicker than her
And my ass ain’t flat, I got wide hips and beautiful curves
So the size of my jeans doubles,
now I’m insecure
And I’ve always felt fatter, uglier, less than, completely unsure
Of my beauty
Because the pretty girl gets all the looks, she’s a double zero
And I’m over here trying not to be seen, cause I’m bigger
I’m a size 14, barely fits in my jeans
And most of the time I’m bloated so I hide in a big Tee
And I hide
I hide that I’m funny and most of my personality
I got a focus on sucking in and hide from the phones
I don’t want to be in pictures so I stand alone
But I want to be in pictures, my body is just outgrown
So there’s no point in coming and I usually stay home
And I avoid making friends because they’ll want to hang out
And maybe they’ll see what I’m actually about
Maybe they’ll notice that I’m constantly sucking in
That I have to stand up straight so my rolls tuck in
And keep my head up to hide my double chin

I’m exhausted,

I’ve clocked in 40 hours of hating my body
And comparing it to every other person who’s not me
I should be getting paid more than minimum wage for worrying about the way that my body lays
But at least it’s direct deposit straight to my brain
That turns into a movie that’s on constant replay

I can’t escape

But maybe today the movie will stop
And the burden I carry will finally fall off
Maybe I’ll truly love my whole me
And maybe today I’ll actually breathe
And stop sucking in, maybe soak in the sun
Make some new friends, have some new fun

Maybe today, I’m done.

Sam Ray

Sam Ray is a fresh face to poetry, but growing up with the strip as her backyard it’s no wonder this poet knows how to captivate a crowd. The multi-talented 26 year old has featured at places like Cork & Thorn and the Utah Arts Festival. Her poetry is truthful and raw, and she doesn’t shy away from heavy topics whether it be acting, singing, or poetry. Sam is sure to tug at your heartstrings.

_{^{Artist: Kannetha Brown}}